Presenting – the latest in Reputation – Drag In My Soul
Presenting – Drag In My Soul
I think too much about what people say, I dwell too much about one or the other way, They drag in my soul, still innocent and whole, They use tried strings and broken dreams,
They are devasted and in need of repair, Their souls given up much too long ago, unscare, But a light within me, does resist the deep sea, Is that the devil, already claimed my soul to level?
They told me I was perfect for the job, They were the first to say, but last to rob, Because they say, I’ll never get out of their way, Yet I resist, even though they told me it was pointless,
Yes, they drag in my soul, into this little sadistic game of theirs, Yet I stay calm, not a hair out of place, I have no fear, because I have heard it all, their leers, And that may just be, something that saves me,
I got out of there in time, or rather they left, For it seems my life is just impossible to wreck, And I smile, because it seems it worked, all the while, I can finally go back to being me, for I’m certainly more than what the eye sees. ANVI TUTEJA
Presenting – the latest in Reputation – Tell Me What to Be
Presenting – Tell Me What to Be
There is a drag in my soul, listless, I am at the end of a winding road, endless, They tell me what to be, And they end up crossing me, In the dead of night, when the world sleeps,
The only friend I have left, Is one not worth having, (correct), I ask them, “Tell me what to do.” But they don’t have time to, And then I hear them laughing as I weep,
And I try to be selfless, But they take advantage of my rest, And I’m left alone with no value, Because it was me who undervalued, All of myself and all of my own worth,
But now I know better, saw the cracks in the mirror, I thought I was a failure, someone else’s actor, But it turns out they were pulling the string b’hind the curtain, Now I’m stronger, or at least I’ll be, of that I am certain, Because I know now, life isn’t based on money, honour or birth. ANVI TUTEJA
Presenting – the latest in Reputation – Time Doesn’t Only Heal Wounds…
Presenting – Time Causes Wounds I
A childhood friend, who moved away, A golden chain, which fell astray, The Last Hour, which was far too short, The Palm Tree, unnoticed in a hotel resort,
A happy childhood is worth far more, Than all the gold, The dream door, I wonder if I forget, these memories in the making, Am I losing out on these moments I’m living?
The bubbling innocence, that stayed the race, A darling dress, with the buttons out of place, The marked doorjamb, with height – enlist, The training wheels, that sort of disappeared into the mist,
However, it all faded away, they say – you’re older now, But what if I don’t want to forget these, if time allows, They say, Time heals all wounds, but I don’t think that’s the case, Because, otherwise, it’s just a bittersweet never-ending race,
The fish in the bowl, which I fed each day, The old cocktail glasses, whose remains on the floor lay, The antique watches, that stopped their ticking, The neighbourhood dog, who all night kept barking,
These moments I am living, maybe dreams that I’m crushing, Because I miss them, I miss you, in the growing-up rushing, I can’t let these things slip, out of my mind, Because if it’s true, I don’t want to heal the wounds, that remind…
Hello everyone, I realised I haven’t been posting for a while and I truly am sorry. As it turns out, 9th Grade is as hard, if not harder, than all its preconceptions. So, consider this poem as an apology and a reminder that I still exist and I haven’t forgotten my WordPress password (again!)
Presenting – the latest in Reputation – Deal With Death I
Presenting – Deal With Death I
The cards already on the table, The wind blowing in from the gables, You’re holding and I’m folding, Oh, why can’t I have the perfect ending?
I don’t want to play these games, But it doesn’t change the fact I am, all the same, I throw my Kings down, right next to your Ace, It seems you will always be first in the Race,
And you smile and hold out your hand, We’ve done this before, just a routine in this land, The soft clicks of gold and silver and brass, And then you laugh your wicked laugh and all does amass,
And the setting’s changed, not all’s the same now, You’ve got a wicked black crown now, but I’m not going to bow, The wind blows my hair, and I feel like a fairy tale gone wrong, You’re still the villain but I was never the princess of the song,
And the relentless, wretched wind blows your black cloak away, As the curtains unclose, I stifle a scream as I don’t know what to say, It all makes sense now as the pieces slowly fall into place, The voice, The ghosts, The memories, The body and The Broken Mace,
The golden chain, the last hour, and the deal we made, As the horrifying reality makes haste and nestles in, bed unmade, I am a survivor, a cardsharp – but it was no match for the sword-sheath, I was made a fool, but I must reconcile – because I made the deal with death.
Reputation Presents – the joint sequel of Queen of Mean & Crumbling Utopia
Reputation Presents – Queen of Mean & Crumbing Utopia
They say: “When you can’t hide, run, When you can’t run, hide.”
It was perfect, the moment I walked in, Engineered to be an enigma, never before seen, What do they expect? No place for crime, war or even sin, Society is quietly disapproving, no place for a Queen of Mean,
Yeah, they knew who I was. Didn’t know who I’ve become, I’d like to believe, I’m the perfect example, But, I think they know, that I’m just out of time to run, But, for what it’s worth, it’s just a plan that’s cancelled,
No one really knows, who I am, but all they know, what I am, A liar, a killer, a charmingly conniving thief, and they’re convinced – This is all I’ll ever be; Redemption? Their perfect selves don’t give a damn, But their opinion, their faith doesn’t matter to me – their Mesmer I’ll resist,
Because I’ve done it so far, I’ve done it well enough, Acting nonchalant, Acting like their words don’t cut into my heart, I’m not running for my life, till I’m at my last card, called out on my last bluff, But till then, their perfect society, I’ll be a perfect part,
The final piece to the puzzle, The final stroke of the clock, it’s the Race… They think I’m their saviour, but I’m just an enigmatist, Spinning con game, now they’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, Their perfect society hasn’t bothered to check the most wanted blacklist,
Where I’m first, second and last, Oh, they don’t dare check up on my past, Because here even the criminals are treated as honoured guests, And it may not be Madripoor, but it sure ain’t downcast, (either), So let them sit back, ignorant in their ivory towers; I’ll put their minds to rest,
Because I’m unpredictable, and clever, and a fighter ’till my last trick, And guess what, that ignorant Daddy’s Girl is now the greatest assassin of the West, But that’s enough about me, ’cause self-pity makes me sick, And you may think I’m hypocritical, overselling and irrational, like all the rest,
But underestimating me was your first mistake and it won’t be your last, But just in case it was unclear, I don’t mean a storm right now, I don’t need that kind of trauma, the invigorating drama, that’s all in the past, A quiet life for me now, but the con’ll catch up – like it always does; but if you know a better way, be sure to tell me how. ANVI TUTEJA
Now life just feels like a story, And not like the good kinds, that get written in history,
The big man just got fired, And all the little ones are getting tired, Mom’s upset about something, I smile and tell you it’s nothing, My sister’s got some heartache, After 2 months; I tell her to move on, for god’s sake,
Yeah, it’s the same old stories, The bad ones that never get turned into movies,
But now things are changing, Yeah, it seems like the world’s rearranging, Now we’ve got stuff, like support groups and unconscious bias, We’ve got a new faith too, let’s see how long it tries us, But when my sister takes your photo and asks, I try to forget what you said about the past, Dad’s home and the family’s back together, My sister’s got a new guy and she’s sure – This time it’s forever,
It’s still the same old story, but something feels different, The rules are changing, and the world’s becoming insolent,
It’s six months later, still stuck at home, My sister’s even more in love and I’m even more alone, Daddy’s retired now, they live in a cottage off of Bournemouth, My brother’s passed out and he’s heading down south, And today I drove through the suburbs, crying, Because you’ve been away so long, it’s falsifying,
And now the same old story, isn’t so casual any more, Because I was promised, this love was forevermore,
My sister’s getting married, and you’re not invited, Don’t even try showing up, ’cause my brother will kill you if you’re sighted, And I won’t care either, I’ll just look away, nonchalant, My parent’s are here, so’s half the family from Vermont, And it’s time for the vows, and I walk outside, And there you’re standing with flowers, acting like you’re all mine, Now I know, this isn’t a story, Almost over with a closing curtain of glory,
This is just the beginning of a new chapter, Of you and me, with smiles and laughter. ANVI TUTEJA
Anvi’s Thoughts Caught, welcomes you to the exclusive first look and cover reveal of ‘Reputation‘, a collection of never-before-seen poems. This summer, Anvi’s Thoughts Caught welcomes you to a diverse collection of poetry, the exploration of a new genre by Anvi Tuteja.
The first poem of this collection is entitled ‘Queen of Nowhere‘ and is the first of a series. This year, for three months, Anvi’s Thoughts Caught, will be celebrating what makes us unique, our diversity and our freedom to be who we want to be. ‘Queen of Nowhere‘ talks of this freedom a soul receives after being chained – in mind, body and soul.
Thank you to all of my dedicated followers. Anvi’s Thoughts Caught would not exist without each and every one of you. I thank you once again and hope you will enjoy ‘Reputation‘ as much as I will presenting it to you.
Thoughts Caught 