#reputation!, Anvi Tuteja, Notice, Poems

Rewind: Evly, The Evil Queen

Readers, do you remember Evly, The Evil Queen? Featured in Reputation, this acclaimed poem represents a person who has been misunderstood their entire life, through the fictional story of a Queen being denied not only her birthright but also her right to herself.
In a male-dominated society, a woman, especially a Queen, is expected to maintain some degree of conformity and bow down to her male counterparts, or else she is declared “clinically” insane (as shown in writings on the wall with the semblance of the yellow wallpaper), denied a right to exist as she likes (SADIST), or declared “EVIL” and chased with pitchforks and proofs (Evly, The Evil Queen).
Thus, Evly embraces her dark side and becomes the so-called “Evil Queen,” and even at her end, is content with becoming a symbol not of war, but of peace, as she leaves behind her memoirs, self-aware after having spent a lifetime begging for footnotes in the stories of other’s lives.

People tend to be creative,
When theyโ€™re condemning others

Go check out Evly, The Evil Queen now on Anvi’s Thoughts Caught, and read more such poems in Incandescence, the debut novel of Anvi Tuteja.

Incandescence is an anthology of poems that brings a fresh and new perspective to the realm of poetry. Incandescence symbolizes struggle and more importantly, overcoming that struggle to transcend barriers to become something truly incandescent. Read more at https://anvituteja.com/incandescence/.
Available to buy:
Flipkart: https://dl.flipkart.com/s/kW7I3duuuN
Amazon (India): https://www.amazon.in/dp/1685234143
Amazon (USA): https://www.amazon.com/dp/1685234143
Amazon (UK): https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1685234143

I was the bond, the glue, the solvent that saved the kingdom,
And because I wanted more, I was no longer Daddyโ€™s Good Little Girl,
And they said, I killed the King, but I just wanted my very own Queendom.
Anvi Tuteja, Poems, the wandering poet

writings on the wall – a broken dreams and tried strings edit

ANVI TUTEJA, wandering poet, presents: writings on the wall – a broken dreams and tried strings edit:

writings on the wall

This is an edit and Part II of broken dreams and tried strings, available on Anviโ€™s Thoughts Caught only!

writings on the wall – a broken dreams and tried strings edit
fallen raindrops and whispered words,
do the fallen raindrops,
make an iridescent glow?
do the words you whispered,
make the winds blow – just a little more?


because i can still hear the musings,
still see the writings on the wall,
those blissful words we felt together,

they come back to me every time,
every single time i close my eyes,

this feels like the room with yellow wallpaper,
and i’m clawing desperately,
trying to break free from these bonds of this mind of mine,

they tell me i’m broken,
they tell me it’s the end,
they tell me fighting’s hopeless,
yet i persist,

i have to,
i can’t stop,
because if i stop,
it might be forever,
i can’t call swan song,
because it might not be true,

all i can do is swear by the writings on the wall,
waiting and wishing for the tried strings and the broken dreams,
to do something, anything, after all this sh*t we went through,

and as i stand in this crumbling room,
the golden hue is dying out,
yet the writing on the wall is unchanged,
like an unheard omen, it beckons me,

listen, it calls,
if you can hear me, it whispers,
do NOT let them know…

ANVI TUTEJA

Anvi Tuteja, Notice, Poems, the wandering poet

Coming Soon: writings on the wall

“this feels like the room with yellow wallpaper and i’m clawing desperately,”

ANVI TUTEJA

ANVI TUTEJA, wandering poet, presents: writings on the wall – a broken dreams and tried strings edit, coming soon!

This is an edit and Part II of broken dreams and tried strings, available on Anvi’s Thoughts Caught only!

writings on the wall – coming soon!
Anvi Tuteja, Notice, Poems, the real me, the wandering poet

presenting: SADIST

Anvi’s Thoughts Caught presents, the latest: sadist. Check it out here: https://anvituteja.com/2022/01/28/sadist/

And Iโ€™d say it was pure fiction, and it is (but only barely.)
Also, maybe a bit different than my other poetry inย wandering poetย orย the real me, but is actually fresh writing (and promises hope for the future, perhaps something likeย illusionย orย optional nostalgia), unlikeย Transcript, which spent three months in my drafts before I felt I could publish it.)

searchingย for something
anything
that could make you feel like you wereย worthย something

If you need some of my lighter poetry, perhaps tryย Stories,ย Queen of Nowhere,ย Black and White, or of course, the love anthem calledย Love Yourself Like I Doย Myself.
Collection of my poetry: POEMS: https://anvituteja.com/category/poems/.

Anvi Tuteja, Poems, the real me, the wandering poet

sadist

Don’t worry, dear readers – I’m perfectly fine after writing this…made me feel much better, not depressed ๐Ÿ™‚
And I’d say it was pure fiction, and it is (but only barely.)
Also, maybe a bit different than my other poetry in wandering poet or the real me, but is actually fresh writing (and promises hope for the future, perhaps something like illusion or optional nostalgia), unlike Transcript, which spent three months in my drafts before I felt I could publish it.)

sometimes i donโ€™t know why i keep trying
looking for your fleeting approval
youโ€™ve got me running around
wrapped around your little finger
searching for something
anything
that could make you feel like you were worth something

but you say, โ€˜No.โ€™
and it feels like the world has come crashing
first, second, or last
if it doesnโ€™t even matter
why do i try one, two, three, four thousand times?
the losing side, donโ€™t even try
the ones who win by losing are the real illusionists

the tears are a comfort now
my only solace is the freezing isolating warmth
silently rolling down my cheeks
i used to want to die
that was then
i already know iโ€™m dead
that is now


melodrama was my greatest companion
but misery loved company
till i came stumbling โ€˜round here
i feel like iโ€™m a lifetime older
loneliness is the greatest hell
you can never escape alone
guess iโ€™m spending an eternity down here

another thing i didnโ€™t know way back when
back Before it happened
was sometimes iโ€™d come to long for this
comforting fleeting make-you-feel-alive
– optional nostalgia –
does this make sense?
guess iโ€™m so far gone i donโ€™t really care

ANVI TUTEJA
Could This Really Be The Ending?

(On a lighter note: above I used a parethesis in a parenthesis! Frequent readers would know all about my love for parenthesis thanks to this post: That One Time I Murdered a Ginger Breadย Man.)
If you need some of my lighter poetry, perhaps try Stories, Queen of Nowhere, Black and White, or of course, the love anthem called Love Yourself Like I Doย Myself.
Collection of my poetry: POEMS: https://anvituteja.com/category/poems/.


In other light news, I achieved first place in a school competition. (yay!) It was a debate about water shortage. I’ll publish my speech here too; the issue is INCREDIBLY concerning in the current times, and I hope we can all work together to achieve SDG 6: Clean Water and Sanitation.

#reputation!, Anvi Tuteja, Poems

Transcript

Presenting – the latest in ReputationTranscript

Love? (sigh) Love…convolutes things,
-What do you mean?-
I mean exactly that – Love complicates matters,
It –
It doesn’t even matter at this point.

-And what about Love? Have you never wondered?-
Love is for children,
and fools,
And I feel privileged to consider myself neither.


Do you know why?
-Why what?-
Why I will never let myself love anyone,
-Why?-
Because youth is wasted on the young.
[LEAVES]
-Wait, what? Wait.-
-Wait.-

*END OF AUDIO FILE*
*TRANSCRIPT ATTACHED ABOVE*


ANVI TUTEJA

Anvi Tuteja, Feed, Speak Up! Act Now!, Vision

My Mission with Speak Up! Act Now!

When I was in third grade, I first learned about climate changeโ€”a topic that both fascinated and alarmed me. Curious and concerned, I asked my parents what the world was doing to combat this global issue. Their response was disheartening: despite the urgency of the problem, India’s so-called “GREEN” budget was decreasing instead of increasing. This revelation stuck with me, sparking a desire to understand more and to do more.

By seventh grade, as a first-time Model United Nations delegate, my research into the United Nations and its Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) deepened. I learned about the failures of the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) and the urgent need for the SDGs to step up and protect our world. Inspired by global figures like Greta Thunberg, I knew that action was necessaryโ€”now, not later.

Motivated by my peers and the critical issues at hand, I founded Speak Up! Act Now! โ€”a platform dedicated to raising awareness and inspiring positive change. As a published author and avid blogger, I wanted to use my voice to make a difference, believing that my generation doesnโ€™t need to wait to grow older to create a better tomorrow.

At Speak Up! Act Now!, we believe that every young person has the power to drive positive change. Our mission is to create a platform where every voice can be heard, fostering expression, leadership development, and social responsibility. We encourage people to speak up against injustices, volunteer in their communities, and lead by example.

Whether through Zoom sessions, blog articles, or on-the-ground actions, weโ€™re committed to spreading our message far and wide. The heart of our mission is simple: to empower young voices to make a lasting impact on their communities and the world

Join us as we continue to bridge the gap between awareness and action. Together, we can create a world where every voice matters and every action counts.

ANVI TUTEJA


Call to Action: [Get Involved] [Learn More]

More Information: Speak Up! Act Now!

Anvi Tuteja, Poems, the real me, the wandering poet

paradox

they all tell me
absence makes the heart grow fonder
but all I can think is
out of sight, out of mind, (yeah man!)

they keep telling me
good things come to the good girls who wait
but the place where my mind goes is
time and tide don’t wait for no man (kid, I cried!)

they tell me one last thing
that wise men think alike
but my mama told me
that fools seldom differ (believe me, I tried!)


now I’m done with what they told me
because i save money just by spending it
i know just one thing, that i know nothing
this truly is the beginning of the ending

they think I’m stupid
but I’m gonna be greater than folklore
living forevermore
like i already do- in this mind of mine

and i can’t hear what I’m saying
can you hear me from down here in the crowd
the roar of the thunder
why oh why am i such a compulsive liar?

and Mr. frost said
men work together whether they work together or apart
what am i doing
living this life whether I’m broken or not

they told me to write something radical
be the punk-rock type or be the exclusionist metaphor
does this suffice for you?
does this work for your precious little stereotypes?

fin for now
but not forever
cuz they still don’t know
what a liar you are.

ANVI TUTEJA
This Cannot Be The Ending.

Anvi Tuteja, Short Stories, Write-Ups

Judged and Found Wanting: A Verdict by Anvi Tuteja

My name was carved on a rock outside our home the night I was born. Thatโ€™s what my parents tell me. It was etched in jagged letters with the cryptic inscription Name of Your Child preceding it. 

***

The rock had always been a source of intrigue, and mystery for me. Ever since the first time my parents told me the story โ€“ when I was six years old, staring up at my parents, spellbound โ€“ I have been captivated by my naming grace โ€“ a rock, believe it or not.

They told me it was Fate. The Fates themselves had come to bless me on my day of birth. With their strings of life, a new strand was created โ€“ just for me, and was imbibed in the roots of the most ancient tree, or so the legend went. By their transformative magic, the Fates breathed my name onto the root and a rock emerged, bearing my name.

โ€œBut what happened to the rock?โ€ I asked them when I grew up.

โ€œWell, it disappeared the day after we named you.โ€ 

โ€œAnd the tree?โ€ I inquired. โ€œWhat happened to the most ancient tree, thrice blessed by the Fates?โ€

โ€œIt still grows in our yard, serving as a remembrance of the spirit living on in you.โ€

All of this felt too cryptic, too convenient, and definitely, more than a little conspicuous. Thus, one fine, boiling, summer afternoon, usual for the month of July, I reached the so called โ€˜ancient treeโ€™, hidden among the dozens of others in our yard, though a more apt word would be forest or even the woodland behind our house.

The tree looked nothing special, certainly not special enough to worthy of the Three Fates themselves. I peered carefully โ€˜round itโ€™s slightly yellowing bark, reddish-green leaves and glanced at the small, almost completely invisible inscription under the third branch on the left. My Initials.

I had discovered them ages ago, and as far as I knew, no one but me could see them. I showed them to my parents, friends, the neighbourhood mailman and even my family dog โ€“ Daisy. Their only reaction had been a nonchalant glance, a bored shrug, a concerned shoulder pat and a quizzical bark. (The last one clearly being Daisyโ€™s reaction โ€“ before she ran around the trees, looking for a stick for me to throw.)

I brushed my fingers against the mark; it was cold as ice. I frowned. That was strange, in this boiling heat, it should have been warm, at the very least, if not sizzling. I traced the elaborate curves of the letter, and suddenly, a freezing wind suddenly broke through the humid July weather.

The chilly breeze had me clinging to the treeโ€™s trunk as it was dizzyingly frigid. It seemed to pull at my very soul and turned my veins to ice. I heard a thousand sorrows in my mind, and a plaguing scream struck through my mind. The water droplets clung to my skin and reminded me of my worst nightmares โ€“ it was all too much for me. I was starting to fade awayโ€ฆ

And soon, somehow, as mysteriously as it first arrived, it dissipated, and the temperature around me cooled, as the leaves of the ancient tree stopped swaying. But I noticed that every other tree was still being pulled into the freezing wind, shaking desperately with each howl of the wind.

As soon as I stepped out of the protective radius of the tree, the sinking, freezing feeling returned and I clawed my way back desperately to the tree, which was somehow protecting me from the gales.

I once again brushed my palm against the Initials and they seemed to work as a trigger, and the hellish wind once again ceased, but this time โ€“ seemingly for good.

I was shellshocked, and I leaned with my back against the tree to suck in a breath of sweet mercy and life. Sweet, precious life, which I would never gamble with again.

A terrible thought rooted in my mind, and I could not stop it from flourishing. With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I knew where I had heard of that cold, hellish feeling before.

It was from the birthplace of the Fates โ€“ the residence of the unWantedโ€™s of the Mourning Fields and the destroyer of souls. The plaguing noises were a Calling from the Underworld themselves. Hadesโ€™ minions were Calling to me and the terrible sounds were the screams of the Damned in Tartarus. The water which now still clung to my skin was from the Acheron, born of the Styx and the Cocytus, hatred and misery, uniting to form pain.

My knees gave out and I sunk to the ground, one arm still wrapped around the tree trunk for support that could no longer help me, carry me and I realised, protect me. The tree had protected me for years, and now, by foolishly invoking Hadesโ€™ daimons, I had revoked that protection and turned my back on the Fates.

My head leaned back against the tree, and I heard a piercing voice in my head, that somehow seemed to echo all around me. The cruel laughing voice was instantly recognizable. Hades.

โ€œDesire is a dangerous thing, little Mortal,โ€ he tutted, still laughing. โ€œYou shall pay for the sins of your past life. Your misdemeanours in Elysiumโ€™s fields. Your curious misadventures in the Mourning Fields. Wandering in Asphodel can make you mortals insane; did you forget that?โ€ he taunted.

And, delivering the death blow, he said: โ€œYou had been warned, Mortal. And now you have been cursed. You have been judged and have been found Wanting.โ€

And his cruel laugh echoed, like a poisoned roseโ€™s thorn, a lost heirโ€™s birth right, and the broken crownโ€™s shine, all the way down to the Underworld.

Fin.

ANVI TUTEJA
Will This Be The Ending?

Anvi Tuteja, Poems, the real me, the wandering poet

existence

arenโ€™t thoughts left unsaid
worse than those said out loud?
for when darkness unearths our mind from within
there is nothing to be done to stop the most blatant sins

and I know what I’ve said sounds just like everything said before
but what is existence, if not a reiteration of all that came
before man, before life, before consciousness itself?
for everything that needs to have been said

has already been said
by those countless others who revelled in my plight
but nobody thinks to say things that I know that only I dare say
they cower behind their ‘so-called wisdom’ and blame those they call ‘cursedly clever

you’ve heard this tale countless times before so this time I’ll keep it brief, swearedly
they raved in my downfall and sought to conquer the greatest of minds
and you all know the way I rose and defeated their monsters,
but do you know after all lost was gained

what terrors were unleashed on my mind? do you have any idea
what it’s like to be begging for just one moment of sweet mercy?
just one last sweet breath of life? it is enough to break thy soul and spirit
but it was never enough for them; no, they had me cursing this wretched existence

for how dare they believe they owned me? because they broke me
they thought they knew me; thought they could control me
the poor little dears, living in a fantasy
for this time

good may not prevail over evil
but an imitation of good, well, that just might do the trick
the power of illusions is stronger than even the most experienced dagger
and doppelgangers from the void were certainly unexpected if not unwarranted

and existence is a lie, a myth even, against the powers of a broken mind
the plague god’s ruin, compulsive lies, and feigned innocence
and my illusions and paradoxes
will change your existence

and certainly not for the better
I can promise you that, and it will end
someday, maybe not today, but someday
when my youth is no longer wasted on the young…

ANVI TUTEJA
I Vow This Won’t Be My Ending…