Tag: #anvituteja!
truth
there’s a weight on my back
and they called it a mark
of the real me, the real dream
am i dreaming?
while wide awake
a soul and a story
how do we know
about what we know?
where is the hook?
where is the story?
where is the true reality?
hello, hello
can you hear me
through the crowds?
the highest peaks and
the lazy rivers and
the truth that lies above?
but truth is a sin
and sin is a crime
and crime is the only thing
keeping me alive
tonight
you tell me one thing
and do the other
how do i believe, myself?
i don’t know the truth
of you, of me, of myself
all i know, is what i know, is truth
ANVI TUTEJA
To be Continued…
misunderstood
they tell me
i must be
misunderstood
and i say
that’s not it
that’s not me
not doing this
for sympathy
not doing this
for attention
like you may think i am
i don’t know
what to be
i don’t know
how to be
the real me
i’m not trying
to be cool
when i’m not
i’m just trying
to be me among the others
they call me fast
they call me a fiend
they say i lie
but that’s just me
what am i supposed to be?
according to you
i’m perfect or i’m not
your greatest generation
looks pretty bad now
but they don’t even say that
this is the truth
and it’s not a lie
when i say
that you make me cry
all the time
i try to be
and it’s too much
for you and them
is it not the end?
’cause it feels like it is
i am not trying
to be someone i’m not
i am just me, the real one at that
you tell me i’m done
you tell me it’s over
but this is the great adventure…
To be Continued…
ANVI TUTEJA
broken dreams and tried strings
do the fallen raindrops symbolize the tears,
as broken dreams and tried strings weave,
themselves into, just another dead end,
and the letters and window frames get blown away,
into the wind, the sea, the sky where the stars embrace,
and i see the rain on the roof, crash down with a vengeance,
perhaps another wronged soul, making their peace,
with a fallen foe, a broken path and the cracked windows,
they’re making a mistake now, after the red has passed,
after the storm has broken, after the sky has fallen,
who am i? who would i be? just a person in a sea of others,
can you hear my voice, from down here in the crowds,
could i be noticed? even if my me is merely mediocre,
i don’t play a good part, i play them all off, rather badly,
and they say, all the usual things, the empty motivation,
perhaps the caffeine caused energy and the words whispered in the wind,
were merely a placeholder, for something more, the song in my soul,
the humming of pulses, the beats of the heart,
is my song, just a tune? is my life, just a page? and is the totality of me,
just a half, unwhole sum that equates to nothing; am i holding on to these threads? to these memories?
but everyday i’ll try to pick up all the pieces,
all the memories they somehow never leave me,
and my tears dry up, and the rain don’t stop,
and it’s the calm before the storm because the sky is laughing,
and the flashes of light become the last i’ll ever see,
or so it seems? who am i but the person they want me to be?
and soon, all that’s left of us, is brick and bone and heart and stone,
i become how i am remembered, a monster, a story untold,
you recorded all my mistakes, the worst of me, and called it the story of my life,
but i was so much more than how you saw me, my life was more than a cautionary tale; you told your children at night,
and now it is the end, the end of an era, an era that lasted an eternity,
i was more than a changed mind; and the torn pages of my memoirs,
where is my happily ever after? it’s never coming cause i didn’t even have a what if?
my tragic truths, my lost backlog of dreams and how they were taken all from me,
do you deny me a right to be remembered? because i fear this is how i’ll be censored…
ANVI TUTEJA
As One Tends To Do…
As One Tends To Do is my first attempt at flash poetry, i.e, my version of micro poetry accompanied by a visual component.
My fate, my purpose, my life, I was contemplating,
As one tends to do on a regular Tuesday morning.
ANVI TUTEJA
Evly, The Evil Queen
Presenting, the latest in Reputation –
Evly, The Evil Queen
People tend to be creative,
When they’re condemning others,
Short and crisp, yet variably interpretive,
Not meant to be, just one among another,
They called me, The Evil Queen,
They called me special, they thought I was different,
But lying in wait, silently seen and unseen,
And I realised they said the same, to everyone sent,
No one knows, the face behind curtain,
Nobody cares about the face behind the veil,
And as I tread into the uncertain,
The void caved in and they said my soul was for sale,
But I was between the devil and the deep sea, (cover)
Quietly disapproving, as if their looks could kill,
And if they could, I would be dead a thousand times over,
And now its midnight, but not quite, and the world is still,
Waiting to see my reaction, Pleading to see my refraction,
And they lie in wait, not to harm but to hurt me,
And that’s the true punishment, my return from my investment,
All I get is another sneer that chips my heart, too far to see,
I was the bond, the glue, the solvent that saved the kingdom,
And because I wanted more, I was no longer Daddy’s Good Little Girl,
And they said, I killed the King, but I just wanted my very own Queendom,
And through the cracks in the mirror, the opened doors, I saw the secrets unfurl,
And I brought the truth to light, the blames that they pinned on me,
Yet it was not enough, and I became the Queen who could not leave,
They brought their pitchforks, their fires and their deepest sees,
But at least, I know now, I will finally be a symbol of peace.
ANVI TUTEJA
Drag in my Soul
Presenting – the latest in Reputation – Drag In My Soul
I think too much about what people say,
I dwell too much about one or the other way,
They drag in my soul, still innocent and whole,
They use tried strings and broken dreams,
They are devasted and in need of repair,
Their souls given up much too long ago, unscare,
But a light within me, does resist the deep sea,
Is that the devil, already claimed my soul to level?
They told me I was perfect for the job,
They were the first to say, but last to rob,
Because they say, I’ll never get out of their way,
Yet I resist, even though they told me it was pointless,
Yes, they drag in my soul, into this little sadistic game of theirs,
Yet I stay calm, not a hair out of place,
I have no fear, because I have heard it all, their leers,
And that may just be, something that saves me,
I got out of there in time, or rather they left,
For it seems my life is just impossible to wreck,
And I smile, because it seems it worked, all the while,
I can finally go back to being me, for I’m certainly more than what the eye sees.
ANVI TUTEJA
Tell Me What To Be
Presenting – the latest in Reputation – Tell Me What to Be
There is a drag in my soul, listless,
I am at the end of a winding road, endless,
They tell me what to be,
And they end up crossing me,
In the dead of night, when the world sleeps,
The only friend I have left,
Is one not worth having, (correct),
I ask them, “Tell me what to do.”
But they don’t have time to,
And then I hear them laughing as I weep,
And I try to be selfless,
But they take advantage of my rest,
And I’m left alone with no value,
Because it was me who undervalued,
All of myself and all of my own worth,
But now I know better, saw the cracks in the mirror,
I thought I was a failure, someone else’s actor,
But it turns out they were pulling the string b’hind the curtain,
Now I’m stronger, or at least I’ll be, of that I am certain,
Because I know now, life isn’t based on money, honour or birth.
ANVI TUTEJA
Time Doesn’t Only Heal Wounds…
Presenting – the latest in Reputation – Time Doesn’t Only Heal Wounds…
A childhood friend, who moved away,
A golden chain, which fell astray,
The Last Hour, which was far too short,
The Palm Tree, unnoticed in a hotel resort,
A happy childhood is worth far more,
Than all the gold, The dream door,
I wonder if I forget, these memories in the making,
Am I losing out on these moments I’m living?
The bubbling innocence, that stayed the race,
A darling dress, with the buttons out of place,
The marked doorjamb, with height – enlist,
The training wheels, that sort of disappeared into the mist,
However, it all faded away, they say – you’re older now,
But what if I don’t want to forget these, if time allows,
They say, Time heals all wounds, but I don’t think that’s the case,
Because, otherwise, it’s just a bittersweet never-ending race,
The fish in the bowl, which I fed each day,
The old cocktail glasses, whose remains on the floor lay,
The antique watches, that stopped their ticking,
The neighbourhood dog, who all night kept barking,
These moments I am living, maybe dreams that I’m crushing,
Because I miss them, I miss you, in the growing-up rushing,
I can’t let these things slip, out of my mind,
Because if it’s true, I don’t want to heal the wounds, that remind…
PART 2 Coming Soon…
Deal With Death
Hello everyone, I realised I haven’t been posting for a while and I truly am sorry. As it turns out, 9th Grade is as hard, if not harder, than all its preconceptions.
So, consider this poem as an apology and a reminder that I still exist and I haven’t forgotten my WordPress password (again!)
Presenting – the latest in Reputation – Deal With Death I
The cards already on the table,
The wind blowing in from the gables,
You’re holding and I’m folding,
Oh, why can’t I have the perfect ending?
I don’t want to play these games,
But it doesn’t change the fact I am, all the same,
I throw my Kings down, right next to your Ace,
It seems you will always be first in the Race,
And you smile and hold out your hand,
We’ve done this before, just a routine in this land,
The soft clicks of gold and silver and brass,
And then you laugh your wicked laugh and all does amass,
And the setting’s changed, not all’s the same now,
You’ve got a wicked black crown now, but I’m not going to bow,
The wind blows my hair, and I feel like a fairy tale gone wrong,
You’re still the villain but I was never the princess of the song,
And the relentless, wretched wind blows your black cloak away,
As the curtains unclose, I stifle a scream as I don’t know what to say,
It all makes sense now as the pieces slowly fall into place,
The voice, The ghosts, The memories, The body and The Broken Mace,
The golden chain, the last hour, and the deal we made,
As the horrifying reality makes haste and nestles in, bed unmade,
I am a survivor, a cardsharp – but it was no match for the sword-sheath,
I was made a fool, but I must reconcile – because I made the deal with death.
PART 2 Coming Soon…
Thoughts Caught 