What does it mean to be alone? To have no one and nothing waiting, To sit in solitude, pondering the unknown, Because your mind is already rating,
Loneliness, a disease with no cure, And no, it’s not contagious, But wait, you’re already detour’d, Why is this desire to fit in, already so outrageous?
I’m no longer scared, Of the dark and what it may contain, Contrary to what popular opinion cared, And now I sit here waiting for you, again,
An eternity alone, I fear I will spend, Sitting here all by myself, Alone till the very end, Biding my time before the torturing hells,
The world goes on, And no one notices my shadow, My earthly body, I may have forgone, But my spirit does hide, in the universe’s hollows,
No one noticed, my presence, An invisible shade stuck in the in-between, No one notices, my disappearance, A flicker gone out in the dark, unseen,
No one may care, They buried my ashes, Oh, how do they dare, On my stone there are gashes,
But I’m back now, waiting, That’s all I can do, No one to be relating, Simply be true,
Slowly, Biding my time, An Eternity has passed, Watching sin, war and crime, But I’m still here and here I will last. ANVI TUTEJA
I wrote this because it was so complex that the idea fascinated me. It had to be a short poem, without the meaning being obvious, that told a story and explained a condition. As always, no offence is meant from my work to any persons, class, group, sect, religion, caste, sexuality, identity, etc.
Some times I wonder who it is, It could be him, It could be her, Hell, It could even be you,
Shrouded in mystery, Hiding in the dark, Lurking in the shadows, A solace from the start, Waiting, Slowly, Biding my Time, Awaiting my guard down, Waiting to Strike, Light to dark, Bad to good, Two wrongs don’t make it a right, Comfort in the darkness, The shadows took me in, Reveling in the success of my anonymity, Anonymity, my solace from the start, A bright shining hope, A light in the dark,
Some times I wonder, who it is, It could be him, It could be her, Hell, it could even be you, Well, turns out it’s me! ANVI TUTEJA
Every action monitored, Like everything I did mattered, Well, I’m flattered, But the challenges have left me battered, So as I lay here with my dying breath, I embrace you with open arms: death, Because whatever tortures you have waiting in your hells, Are nothing compared to the nightmares of being myself.
Sometimes I just don’t believe it, I simply cannot realize it, But our time’s come and gone, Oh look, there’s no one to be around, Because it’s done and dusted, The chapter’s published,
Is there no place left for me to go, Because I, Because I simply cannot be alone, It’s so hard keeping away from you, ‘Cause I find it so hard to be true,
And now I live in isolation, Just me alone, alone with my realizations, I was simply never meant to be a hero, In a listless ocean of sorrow, I’m desperately failing to row, But to no avail, Because I simply cannot tell the difference in what’s not real,
Because it’s done and dusted, The chapter’s published, And fate never intended for me to be a hero, And the only one I’m fooling is my own wretched self, So, I can’t do it no more, Maybe it’s time to let go – and fall. ANVI TUTEJA
At the Stroke of Midnight, As the twelfth chime rang, I was blinded by the sparkling light, As my family huddled ’round, like a top-secret gang,
Lay rotting away, the wreaths on the doors, A day to end all pain, misery and strife, It was the moment, everyone had been waiting for, The thick tension was palpable; could be cut with a knife,
It was a day to forget, The mistakes of the past, To let go of all sorrows, sins and regrets, The die had finally been cast,
All waited with bated breath, Everything paused, flying birds, rustling leaves, not to mention, man, Everything paused, moving clouds, flowing water, not to mention, death, As The Countdown finally began,
10, The numbers flashed on the clock, 9, Stuck between a hard place and a rock, 8, Glancing up at the sky, 7, Everyone as if petrify’, 6, Caught breath, suppressed sighs, controlled gasps, 5, Accounting for the calendar’s gaps, 4, Having run out of patience, 3, Adults no longer calm, Children no longer vivacious, 2, Waiting for the year to finally be over, 1, HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Bucket List, why’s that? The idea was new to me, Bucket List, why’s that? Something I had never needed, Bucket List, why’s that? To define my reason to be, Bucket List, why’s that? But some nameless someone’s advice I heeded…
Bucket List, what’s that? How do I go about it, Bucket List, what’s that? I haven’t got a clue, Bucket List, what’s that? Where to start, Where to quit, Bucket List, what’s that? About a thing to do,
Bucket List, how’s that? With things of wonder, Bucket List, how’s that? Beyond my wildest imagination, Bucket List, how’s that? No more blunders, Bucket List, how’s that? I must sit in contemplation,
Bucket List, where’s that? Somewhere exotic, perhaps? Bucket List, where’s that? Going rock climbing? Bucket List, where’s that? Going all the places on maps? Bucket List, where’s that? Ugh, which is the right timing?
Bucket List, which’s that? Seeing a sunrise, from Machu Pichu, Bucket List, which’s that? Climbing up to Mt. Kilimanjaro, Bucket List, which’s that? Or talking to someone about my issues, Bucket List, which’s that? Or simply enjoying a better tomorrow?
Bucket List, when’s that? I am too young to prophesize the future? Bucket List, when’s that? Is it dangerous to play with the fire of fate? Bucket List, when’s that? No, my own destiny I will suture, Bucket List, when’s that? It’s up to me whether I will be weak or great,
Bucket List, who’s that? Shall I meet an old acquaintance? Bucket List, who’s that? Have a picnic with the whole family? Bucket List, who’s that? Visit an old friend, with full cadence? Bucket List, who’s that? Or the girl who looks like me, uncannily?
Bucket List, help me! You are too complicated, Bucket List, when will you be done, finally? No, I don’t want to see all the royal families rated! Bucket List, you’re finally over, I have assigned all the numbers, Bucket List, now all you need is a cover! I can go back to my eternal slumber!
”Learning Morse Code, Speaking Latin, Achieving my ideal weight, On the runway, Wearing a dress of Satin, Be more punctual, Never be late, Doing Archery, Learning shooting, Become a concert pianist, The errors in our society need uprooting, Swearing to always be honest,
Going Parasailing, Dying my hair, Making a snowman, Visiting an earthly place rare, Stay away from the beach, don’t need a tan, Flying First Class, Zooming in a helicopter, Seeing the Northern Lights, Go to Jurassic Park, maybe see a velociraptor, Just being with friends, going to fly a kite,
Visiting a Volcano, Painting a portrait, Observing the constellations in the night sky, Paying my homage at the world-famous India gate, Dancing at family weddings and some white lies, Seeing the famed Mona Lisa, Remarking at her lack of eyebrows, Taking a selfie at the Tower of Pisa, Seeing beautiful Orchids, neatly arranged in rows,
Going on a cruise, Folding a 1000 cranes, Getting a little serious, becoming a doctor, Hopefully always staying sane! Do some geology, am a roctor! See the beautiful cherry blossoms, Visit Neuschwanstein and maybe put a lock, Do Archeology, discover some fossils, Finally, wash my lucky sock,
Ride a crazy insane roller coaster, Hit a bull’s eye on a dartboard, Take a job as a coffee roaster? Drive around in a fancy Ford, Lucky number thirteen, Go on a random vacation, Right now, I’m just fourteen, There is no limit to my imagination!”
When I look into the mirror, I see myself as but an actor, When I look into the mirror, I feel like a mortal, but mere-er, When I look into the mirror, Is it me I see, or someone dearer?
When I glance at my reflection, I look like someone deep in thought, in contemplation, When I glance at my reflection, The raw light in me takes a deflection, When I glance at my reflection, I always have a fear of rejection,
When I peer into clear glass, The ugliness inside of me, does amass, When I peer into clear glass, I see myself for who I really am, plainly crass, When I peer into clear glass, The truth is seen, greener than other-side grass,
When I view the perfectly-clear water, I see myself as the perfect daughter, When I view the perfectly-clear water, The darkness within me, I do wish to slaughter, When I view the perfectly-clear water, I feel like a deserted marauder,
When I search for myself in the pure lenses, Would I then, finally come to my senses? When I search for myself in the pure lenses, Will my soul finally take a consensus? When I search for myself in the pure lenses, Of who I am, behind all the pretenses?
When I look into the mirror, I finally see myself, but clearer.
Am I lied to?Is there some higher power I can cry to?What’s behind those smiles?Feeling like a puppet to your wiles,Tell me now, to my face,Will I ever be first in the race? ANVI TUTEJA -with you till the end of the line, pal-
would you care?if i never said another word,would you care?if i never wrote another verse,would you care?if i never played another note,would you care?if i never sang another tune,would you care? ANVI TUTEJA -with you till the end of the line, pal-
Every action monitored,Like everything I did mattered,Well, I’m flattered,But the challenges have left me battered,So as I lay here with my dying breath,I embrace you with open arms: death,Because whatever tortures you have waiting in your hells,Are nothing compared to the nightmares of being myself. ANVI TUTEJA -with you till the end of the line,…
Thoughts Caught 