Don’t worry, dear readers – I’m perfectly fine after writing this…made me feel much better, not depressed 🙂
And I’d say it was pure fiction, and it is (but only barely.)
Also, maybe a bit different than my other poetry in wandering poet or the real me, but is actually fresh writing (and promises hope for the future, perhaps something like illusion or optional nostalgia), unlike Transcript, which spent three months in my drafts before I felt I could publish it.)
sometimes i don’t know why i keep trying
looking for your fleeting approval
you’ve got me running around
wrapped around your little finger
searching for something
anything
that could make you feel like you were worth something
but you say, ‘No.’
and it feels like the world has come crashing
first, second, or last
if it doesn’t even matter
why do i try one, two, three, four thousand times?
the losing side, don’t even try
the ones who win by losing are the real illusionists
the tears are a comfort now
my only solace is the freezing isolating warmth
silently rolling down my cheeks
i used to want to die
that was then
i already know i’m dead
that is now
melodrama was my greatest companion
but misery loved company
till i came stumbling ‘round here
i feel like i’m a lifetime older
loneliness is the greatest hell
you can never escape alone
guess i’m spending an eternity down here
another thing i didn’t know way back when
back Before it happened
was sometimes i’d come to long for this
comforting fleeting make-you-feel-alive
– optional nostalgia –
does this make sense?
guess i’m so far gone i don’t really care
ANVI TUTEJA
Could This Really Be The Ending?
(On a lighter note: above I used a parethesis in a parenthesis! Frequent readers would know all about my love for parenthesis thanks to this post: That One Time I Murdered a Ginger Bread Man.)
If you need some of my lighter poetry, perhaps try Stories, Queen of Nowhere, Black and White, or of course, the love anthem called Love Yourself Like I Do Myself.
Collection of my poetry: POEMS: https://anvituteja.com/category/poems/.
In other light news, I achieved first place in a school competition. (yay!) It was a debate about water shortage. I’ll publish my speech here too; the issue is INCREDIBLY concerning in the current times, and I hope we can all work together to achieve SDG 6: Clean Water and Sanitation.
Thoughts Caught 