Category: the wandering poet

Presenting the wandering poet, and it’s tracklist:

1. broken dreams and tried strings
   …and i see the rain on the roof, crash down with a vengeance,
   perhaps another wronged soul, making their peace,
   with a fallen foe, a broken path and the cracked windows…
2. misunderstood (the real me)
   …not doing this
   for sympathy
   not doing this
   for attention
   like you may think i am…
3. truth (the real me)
   …but truth is a sin
   and sin is a crime
   and crime is the only thing
   keeping me alive
   tonight…
4. dream (the real me)
   …you can steal my life
   but you can’t steal my right
   to dream, to see, to believe…
5. freedom (the real me)
   …in these restless binds
   here i lie chained
   laying in waste in your controlling hate…
6. existence (the real me)
   …good may not prevail over evil
   but an imitation of good, well, that just might do the trick…
7. paradox (the real me)
   …they told me to write something radical
   be the punk-rock type or be the exclusionist metaphor
   does this suffice for you?
   does this work for your precious little stereotypes?
8. sadist (the real me)
   …but you say, ‘No.’
   and it feels like the world has come crashing…
9. writings on the wall – a broken dreams and tried strings edit
   …this feels like the room with yellow wallpaper,
   and i’m clawing desperately,
   trying to break free…

I hope you enjoy reading the wandering poet. Subscribe to Anvi’s Thoughts Caught to receive updates on my poems.

the wandering poet – tracklist

Until the next time I get inspired by something wild, beautiful and ethereal,
ANVI TUTEJA

Presenting the wandering poet, and it’s tracklist:

1. broken dreams and tried strings
   …and i see the rain on the roof, crash down with a vengeance,
   perhaps another wronged soul, making their peace,
   with a fallen foe, a broken path and the cracked windows…
2. misunderstood (the real me)
   …not doing this
   for sympathy
   not doing this
   for attention
   like you may think i am…
3. truth (the real me)
   …but truth is a sin
   and sin is a crime
   and crime is the only thing
   keeping me alive
   tonight…
4. dream (the real me)
   …you can steal my life
   but you can’t steal my right
   to dream, to see, to believe…
5. freedom (the real me)
   …in these restless binds
   here i lie chained
   laying in waste in your controlling hate…
6. existence (the real me)
   …good may not prevail over evil
   but an imitation of good, well, that just might do the trick…
7. paradox (the real me)
   …they told me to write something radical
   be the punk-rock type or be the exclusionist metaphor
   does this suffice for you?
   does this work for your precious little stereotypes?
8. sadist (the real me)
   …but you say, ‘No.’
   and it feels like the world has come crashing…
9. writings on the wall – a broken dreams and tried strings edit
   …this feels like the room with yellow wallpaper,
   and i’m clawing desperately,
   trying to break free…

I hope you enjoy reading the wandering poet. Subscribe to Anvi’s Thoughts Caught to receive updates on my poems.

Presenting – the wandering poet and tracklist

Until the next time I get inspired by something wild, beautiful and ethereal,
ANVI TUTEJA

Don’t worry, dear readers – I’m perfectly fine after writing this…made me feel much better, not depressed 🙂
And I’d say it was pure fiction, and it is (but only barely.)
Also, maybe a bit different than my other poetry in wandering poet or the real me, but is actually fresh writing (and promises hope for the future, perhaps something like illusion or optional nostalgia), unlike Transcript, which spent three months in my drafts before I felt I could publish it.)

sometimes i don’t know why i keep trying
looking for your fleeting approval
you’ve got me running around
wrapped around your little finger
searching for something
anything
that could make you feel like you were worth something

but you say, ‘No.’
and it feels like the world has come crashing
first, second, or last
if it doesn’t even matter
why do i try one, two, three, four thousand times?
the losing side, don’t even try
the ones who win by losing are the real illusionists

the tears are a comfort now
my only solace is the freezing isolating warmth
silently rolling down my cheeks
i used to want to die
that was then
i already know i’m dead
that is now

melodrama was my greatest companion
but misery loved company
till i came stumbling ‘round here
i feel like i’m a lifetime older
loneliness is the greatest hell
you can never escape alone
guess i’m spending an eternity down here

another thing i didn’t know way back when
back Before it happened
was sometimes i’d come to long for this
comforting fleeting make-you-feel-alive
– optional nostalgia –
does this make sense?
guess i’m so far gone i don’t really care

ANVI TUTEJA
Could This Really Be The Ending?

(On a lighter note: above I used a parethesis in a parenthesis! Frequent readers would know all about my love for parenthesis thanks to this post: That One Time I Murdered a Ginger Bread Man.)
If you need some of my lighter poetry, perhaps try Stories, Queen of Nowhere, Black and White, or of course, the love anthem called Love Yourself Like I Do Myself.
Collection of my poetry: POEMS: https://anvituteja.com/category/poems/.

In other light news, I achieved first place in a school competition. (yay!) It was a debate about water shortage. I’ll publish my speech here too; the issue is INCREDIBLY concerning in the current times, and I hope we can all work together to achieve SDG 6: Clean Water and Sanitation.

they all tell me
absence makes the heart grow fonder
but all I can think is
out of sight, out of mind, (yeah man!)

they keep telling me
good things come to the good girls who wait
but the place where my mind goes is
time and tide don’t wait for no man (kid, I cried!)

they tell me one last thing
that wise men think alike
but my mama told me
that fools seldom differ (believe me, I tried!)

now I’m done with what they told me
because i save money just by spending it
i know just one thing, that i know nothing
this truly is the beginning of the ending

they think I’m stupid
but I’m gonna be greater than folklore
living forevermore
like i already do- in this mind of mine

and i can’t hear what I’m saying
can you hear me from down here in the crowd
the roar of the thunder
why oh why am i such a compulsive liar?

and Mr. frost said
men work together whether they work together or apart
what am i doing
living this life whether I’m broken or not

they told me to write something radical
be the punk-rock type or be the exclusionist metaphor
does this suffice for you?
does this work for your precious little stereotypes?

fin for now
but not forever
cuz they still don’t know
what a liar you are.

ANVI TUTEJA
This Cannot Be The Ending.

aren’t thoughts left unsaid
worse than those said out loud?
for when darkness unearths our mind from within
there is nothing to be done to stop the most blatant sins

and I know what I’ve said sounds just like everything said before
but what is existence, if not a reiteration of all that came
before man, before life, before consciousness itself?
for everything that needs to have been said

has already been said
by those countless others who revelled in my plight
but nobody thinks to say things that I know that only I dare say
they cower behind their ‘so-called wisdom’ and blame those they call ‘cursedly clever‘

you’ve heard this tale countless times before so this time I’ll keep it brief, swearedly
they raved in my downfall and sought to conquer the greatest of minds
and you all know the way I rose and defeated their monsters,
but do you know after all lost was gained

what terrors were unleashed on my mind? do you have any idea
what it’s like to be begging for just one moment of sweet mercy?
just one last sweet breath of life? it is enough to break thy soul and spirit
but it was never enough for them; no, they had me cursing this wretched existence

for how dare they believe they owned me? because they broke me
they thought they knew me; thought they could control me
the poor little dears, living in a fantasy
for this time

good may not prevail over evil
but an imitation of good, well, that just might do the trick
the power of illusions is stronger than even the most experienced dagger
and doppelgangers from the void were certainly unexpected if not unwarranted

and existence is a lie, a myth even, against the powers of a broken mind
the plague god’s ruin, compulsive lies, and feigned innocence
and my illusions and paradoxes
will change your existence

and certainly not for the better
I can promise you that, and it will end
someday, maybe not today, but someday
when my youth is no longer wasted on the young…

ANVI TUTEJA
I Vow This Won’t Be My Ending…

i can’t even tell if i’m dreaming
can’t even realise this feeling
of being free to be me

i hear their voices
i hear them laugh
i hear them make me feel like
i don’t deserve this right
that i call mine

but you can’t stop my dreaming
you can’t even take it away from me
you can steal my life
but you can’t steal my right
to dream, to see, to believe

that i could be
anything i wanted to be
i believe, that i can dream
of something better
a brighter letter

this is my dream
this is my reality
and who’s to say, which is which?

this is my life
this is my right
this is my dream to be
something better
than what they made me

tell me i lie
tell me i’m scared
tell me anything you want
tell me to be something else
i won’t listen because i am more

call me a liar
call me a snitch
call me a broken part
go ahead
i won’t break

because i am more
than the monster
you made me believe i was

ANVI TUTEJA
This is NOT the End…