Dear readers, I’m pleased to share with all of you today, some feedback I’ve received from the wonderful Er. Swaraj Jain, BE, FIE, FIV. My grandfather had sent my book, Incandescence, to his classmate, Er. Jain, who has so generously written the following:
Dear [Anvi], My honest and sincere comments are detailed under :
Incandescence by young Anvi Tuteja transports you on a journey of self discovery. Poetry is a distillation of one’s self into words. It’s a wonder to learn that Anvi at such a young age has nurtured such deep thoughts and philosophy, echoing rebellious at times. Some of the poems like Playing with fire, Black and white etc. transform the reader into a transcendental world.
I dived deep into my inner self on reading the poem “Love Thyself ….” and really fell in love with myself. Poetry lovers can’t afford to miss Incandescence by budding Anvi Tuteja. God bless the young buddy!!
~Er Swaraj Jain, BE, FIE, FIV Fmr Dy Chief Engineer DSIIDC, New Delhi.
I am immensely grateful to sir for his kind words of feedback, and unique insights about my work. Thank you once again, sir.
Links to the above mentioned poetry can be found here:
I don’t need a man to figure out who I’m supposed to be, For I am so much more than how society defines me,
I wish with all my heart that this wasn’t the world that I lived in, I wake in the night and curse this world of war, crime and sin,
I don’t need your stereotypes to define myself, I’m sorry, but please, keep your opinions to yourself,
I fear the day this world reaches a consensus, For the wars and battles from that moment on, I fear will be endless,
Humanity has become reckless, Frozen in a state of mind, Never stopping to wonder what is ethical, moral or right,
And they said, how could a scared little girl rise above the monsters and fight? And she replied, you can never lose your demons but you can always stand for what you believe is right,
And they looked on in wonder, as she stopped all the destruction, The very one they caged, came back to be their salvation,
And she became their new hope, a light in the dark, And then that world did, on a new journey embark,
And the old traditions, mandates and standards of the past, Became a thing so obscure that they could no longer last,
That world is now a haven, of those lost, scared and different, Because she opened their minds and thus their hearts, to those incandescent,
And they tell her story, even up till this day, For she was the true saviour who showed everyone the right way,
“She was just a little girl, who had the nerve to believe, That she could be much much more than how she was perceived.” ANVI TUTEJA
If you can’t handle me at my worst, You sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best,
For I am braver than you believe, I am stronger than you perceive, And I am smarter than you preconceive, Because I am freer that how you deceived,
Of the mountain of despair, I will carve a hollow of unscare, For you can never break my spirit, Because it’s my destiny and I will live it,
For fate is not by chance but by choice, And I will rise and fight, so you can hear my voice, For I may have faced many defeats in life, Yet I have never succumbed to the sweet misery of pain, war or strife,
And I may fall, I may crash and burn, I may drown in a thousand sorrows, but I will be heard, And I will rise above and heal my pain, And I will overcome all the obstacles and come out sane,
Because I didn’t come this far, To only come this far, Because love, war and revenge, may have made history scar’d, But I know the truth, as clear as a mirror in the night, Because all the shadows can be dismissed with a flick of light,
If you spend your entire life, trying to be normal, You will never realise how amazing it is to be abnormal, It does not matter how slow you go, as long as you move, Because the seeds of doubt are so hard to remove,
What and if are two unassuming normal words, But bring them together, and you will lose more of your life than you can afford, Because you should live like there’s no tomorrow, And only then will they vanish: your fears, regrets and sorrows,
And above all else, be happy for the gift of life, For when you look at your mortality, be forever happy you are alive, Because time isn’t the main thing, It’s the only thing that doth matter, Because between life and death, you’ll never prefer the latter,
For you own the story and you derive the ending, But nowhere in life will you go with dreaming, lying or pretending, And never fall prey to the fears and whispers that come with doubt, For one day they will betray you and see you out,
For we armed with the knowledge that came with history, If you learn from the mistakes of the past, guaranteed is your victory, For life gives you no limitations, ‘cept the one you made yourself, And never mind the fears of judgement in heaven or even the hells,
Because I am more than what I once was before, And I made my own path so brave, that now they call it folklore, For I live as if I were to die tomorrow, and learn as if I were to live forever, And now they call me as if it ‘twas a curse: clever,
But I don’t care if they dare to end my story, For sunsets are there to remind me, that endings can also hold beauty, And I will never stop the wars or the rebellion, For your rules and mandates deserve nothing but insurrection,
For you are no one to tell me, who I can and cannot be, And I know I’ve said this once before, but it’s still not your destiny, Because it is in our darkest moments, that we must focus to see the light, Because we are nothing if not the things we believe to be right. ANVI TUTEJA
As I walk I do not recognise, As I walk I do not comprehend, How this little world of mine, Has changed into one of sin, war and crime,
My little bubble, an oasis of power, An impenetrable fortress, a bunker to hide away, Has now been discovered, my power drained, Oh, tears of sorrow I rained,
I watered your fertile fields with my tears, I hardened your spirit with my blood, I tended your roots with my heart and soul, I encompassed you with my being, whole,
But now you’re gone, sacrificed like all the others, They say: death is the kindest mercy, But then again I have never met a bigger liar than this: ‘they say’ But now I walk the same way,
The one we walked together, What seems like an eternity ago, Stolen moments and pretty lies, But, The spirit you left me never dies,
Chained by these very memories, The thoughts you left me, I do preserve, They’ll punish me in those hells, The very ones that destroyed yourself,
And they may have claimed your shadows, But they’ll never have your spirit, Just one of the many thoughts that I will treasure, Once they beat me out of measure. ANVI TUTEJA
Two companion pieces, Playing With Fire and A Dangerous Game, highlight the importance of rebelling and breaking stereotypes and making the world a beautiful and equal place for all in the form of a story where a girl fights against the world and vows to ‘watch, because this world will yet be mine.’ (Playing With Fire) and that ‘my fire will never again be stopped,’ (A Dangerous Game)
If the whole world says, that I’m nothing but a horrible person, Then who am I to tell them, that they don’t know it all, If the whole world says, that I’m nothing but a rude girl, Then who am I to tell them, that I’m not all that meets the eye, If the whole world says, that I’m nothing but a broken heart, Then who am I to tell them, that I had next to no part,
And If the whole world says, that I don’t have any rights, Then who am I to tell them, that I will rise and fight, Because even If the whole world says, that this is all I’ll ever be, Then who are you to tell me, for it’s not your destiny,
I can hear the rumours, I can hear the whispers, It keeps me up at night, tossing and turning, But I will rise above and leave you starstruck and awaiting, I do not fit your stereotypes, I wasn’t meant to be the norm,
But now I’ve fought your obstructions, And I broke free from your path, I’m like a bundle of contradictions, Always caught up in misconceptions, But now I’m free, I’m free to finally be me,
And you had your weapons, your cannons at the ready, But what will they do, when I fought the whole world, Your shadows leave no trace, that’s in the past, Time isn’t waiting and I’m running so fast,
And then you were begging, weeping at my feet, They say it’s in the past, But I know this won’t last, So now they race behind me, as I race for the stars,
And now I’ll say to the whole world, that you just wait and watch, Because now I’m here to tell you, I’m a bullet you just can’t dodge,
And how did you dare, to tell me who I could and couldn’t be, But I rose above the ashes, reborn from the fire, I’m just like a phoenix, solace in the flames, Because my fire will never again be stopped, And now my natural charisma will never be the same,
Fire, Fire, It’ll leave you burning, Fire, Fire, You’ll never be the same, Fire, Fire, ‘Tis a very dangerous game, Fire, Fire, You’ll burn in your hate,
So remember that is the real me, And I will run, run for all eternity, They think it’s all so easy, But they don’t know a fraction of my pain, And now in that world, all of them say, Repeating for all time, for I showed them the way:
“Playing with Fire, ‘Tis a dangerous game, And once she’s done with you, you’ll never be the same,” ANVI TUTEJA
I feel everything so deeply, I know everything, without its meaning, And you don’t know what it’s like to be me, I move swiftly, without any reasoning,
And I don’t need to make sense, to be your perfect precedent, I don’t need to be your warped idea of normal, Society’s got it all wrong, I don’t mean to represent, I don’t need to be your perfect little girl, always so formal,
I was a mistake, A beautiful enigma, I was not meant to be a standard, You cannot break my spirit, an abyss as abysmal, As vast as a river that meandered,
And on their rules and shadows, you can find my insignia, I destroyed their regular, I burnt their mandate, You can’t control my essence, my alluring charisma, I’m sorry, you’re out, past your use-by date,
Do you think you can control me? When you play with fire, burning is inevitable, I’m a wild spirit, A creature meant to be free, Try to twist my words, my soul is impenetrable,
Keep your rules, your regulations, I’d rather burn down your conglomerations, Against your rules, your legislation, I’m as varied as creation, I’ve got no obligations, I’d rather start a worldwide revolution in this backyard you call a nation,
You play with a dangerous fate, a destiny not yours, You point at me, your evils, your sins and your crimes, And yet against your weapons, your rumours, I’ll endure, And watch, because this world will yet be mine. ANVI TUTEJA
Inspiration comes when it comes, Nothing to be done about it, It’s not me it’s them, So Remember, Remember me, Remember my stories, Remember my laughs, Remember my poems, Remember my gasps, Remember, Because it’s the last time you’ll be seeing me,
My brain thinks faster than I can write, How fast can my fingers type? So Remember, Remember me, Remember my power, Remember my greed, Remember my whispers, Remember my dreams, Remember, Because it’s the last time you’ll be seeing me. ANVI TUTEJA
It had been a time of great change. The humans were to blame. Their world was disappearing inch by precious inch: a lush, sun-drenched land full of colour and life becoming a barren, ruinous, grey wasteland. What would become of them all? Was there even a future?
If there was, it certainly wasn’t bright, or merry, or beautiful, or any of the things it was before. But they couldn’t complain, could they? They had brought this on themselves. But was that really their fault? They had just been doing what they had been for years, for decades, for centuries, even. This effect had not been a quick fix of a few generations, but a causality of years of damage and heartbreak. And slowly, nature, unable to contain the darkness within, grew rebellious and inflicted it on humanity. All greenery faded away. Bright changed to dull, and light to dark. It was a time of infinite sorrows. Wars waged over food. Life pit brother against brother in the ultimate fight for life. It was the race. The race against time. Humanity fighting for seconds. For morsels. For crumbs.
And then came the aftermath. A set of new heroes entered the world. They built what their forefathers could not: a bond with nature. They created, discovered, innovated. But there was one thing they could not cure: Humanity’s thirst. Thirst for curiosity, for wisdom, for power. And then they committed the greatest sin of all: Self-Harm. They erased their minds, Their memories, And were finally devoid of emotion. And one could argue that this was the Afterglow. Life prospered. Blissfully ignorant. Unaware that the meadows they played over were the graves of the many. That they had walked over the cold corpses of the race known as ‘The Before.’ In one way, this was their saviour. Ignorance was Bliss, at least for them. But then there were those who began to remember. It started with the children. Their minds were young. New. Blissfully Naive in the ways of the world. And it started with the nightmares. Visons. Hallucinations. And then came the flashbacks. The memory of the sin they committed. And what to do but then. The ones who talked had to be silenced. It was a necessary sacrifice. A necessary sacrifice. Those were the words that lured them to sleep at night. The many becoming the few becoming the one. Constant vigilance. It was a necessary sacrifice… And then humanity moved on. The screams of those tortured before being cut off by the sound of a single shot, became commonplace in the new world. Their creation had done nothing. Nothing. But the people were used to it. And they were obstinate. Stubborn. And then there were those who rebelled. Met in the shrouds of secrecy and darkness. We began our secret society. The Secret Society of the Survivors. And one day we ran. We fled. Abandoning all our principles. The very thing that brought us together, urged us to flee. And we left, leaving them all to a merciless fate. I still remember their screams. Their screams as they were torn apart. Destroyed. Obliterated. While we stood and watched and did nothing. We were their destruction. Their swan song. And then we built this place. Far, Far away from those who had died. Died so that we could live. They had died believing they were alone. But they weren’t. We buried their bodies. Our comrades in arms. And then vowed never to return. We began our own colony. On New-Terra. Life moved on. Humanity always does in the end. And now I stand here. On the edge of the new world. Standing. Waiting. That’s all I will do now. Simply Wait. Wait for all Eternity. Because they will come. And we will fight. Fight to avenge all those who were killed when it should have been us. We will stand together. Together and we will drive those mad brutes out. And then and only then will I finally rest. Rest in peace. Because I am the last of my people, ‘The Before’. And until then I will wait. Standing here, Waiting, for Eternity. For my home. For My people, who died. And to avenge them, I will wait. And to anyone who finds this, remember. Remember. Remember them. Remember me. Remember the feeling of despair when you’re tumbling down the cliff. Because that moment will come for you, as it does for us all. Your swan song. And this? This is my swan song. ANVI TUTEJA
I’m not the type of person, Who goes out without a fight, I’m not the type of person, Who won’t fight for their rights, I’m not the type of person, Who won’t fight to survive, No, I’m not the type of person, Fate intended to write,
All or nothing, That’s what I say, In a land of cliches, I’m the only one who’s sane, In an assembly line of parts, I’m the one who can win them all, I was a mistake, A beauty, an enigma,
Aside from the normal, A diamond in the rough, I’m the one they can’t win without, The one who comes home having won it all, The only one in the land of robots, I’m not scared to show my emotions, I go all in and laugh when I lose, The one who can withstand all fate’s got to prove,
Because I have nothing to lose in a land of riches, Keep your rings, your riches, I’d rather stick with the witches, Don’t follow me around, You’ll end up fallen to the ground, I’m different I’m special, I’m not your typical, I’m original, Not scared of losing the battle, Cause I’ve already won the war,
I’m not your usual, I’m not your typical, I’m not the type of person to lose, I’m not the type of person to be subdued, I will fight for what’s mine, Be it a sword, a shadow or a solid gold mine, And I will prosper and survive the rough, Because war’s coming and you’re going to need the tough. ANVI TUTEJA
Thoughts Caught 